Bottled Insanity

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- anon

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
- Nethack

It seems like I'm always getting stuck
Between the handshake and the fuck
-Foo Fighters, "My Poor Brain"

There is a silence where hath been no sound
There is a silence where no sound may be
In the cold grave, under the deep deep sea
- Thomas Hood

For long you live and high you fly
and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
and all that you touch and all that you see
is all your life will ever be.
- Pink Floyd

Sweet is love when all is sane
Sweet is death to rid the pain
Cruel is death when all is well
Cruel is love when all is hell
- anon

You think of me just like a butterfly
You wanna pin me to your wall so I can never fly.

Just like a flower that you need to dry
Caught between two books, squeeze me till I die
- Thumb-Break Me

All that we see or seem
is but a dream within a dream
- Edgar Allen Poe

Oh how pretty.. Ahhhh get off of me you spawn of satan!!
-Kevin Manning

The grass is always greener on the other side -- but that's because they use more manure.
- Schapiro's Explanation

The greatest lies of all time:

I love you
This won't hurt a bit
The cheque's in the mail
I was just going to call you
I swear I won't come in your mouth
Of course I'll respect you in the morning
We have a really challenging assignment for you
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you
-?

"I've also always been fascinated by weddings... those surreal performances where the audience plays an integral part -- the joy, the sadness, the passion... all unfolding firstly in a house where God is served and ultimately in a house where beer is served... the knife inserted ritually into the virginal white cake to reveal the dark fruity interior... that ugly pagan concept of the father handing over his daughter to her new master... the mothers crying because they're losing a daughter, the page boys crying because they have to wear such stupid clothes... those embarrassing speeches and drunken uncles on the dance floor..."
-David Gedge, singer of The Wedding Present

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
-Lily Tomlin